He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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