Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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