I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
