Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
