I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
