i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
