I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
