If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
