Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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