this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
