I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
