my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
