i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
