I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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