i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
