he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
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We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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