I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
