Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
