no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Sober January is a disaster.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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