I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
