So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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