You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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