"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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