The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I look better un-naked...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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