I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
