Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
