maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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