She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
