I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
