I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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