Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
