Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
