Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Everclear isn't food dammit
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
