She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
