Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
