6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i now understand why vodka
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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