Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
