I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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