I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
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