Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
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