we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
