Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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