This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
