Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
