you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize