now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
