how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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