she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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