I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
