Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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