is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
