you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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