I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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