why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.