i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.