i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.