You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
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Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
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I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.