She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
