I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
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Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
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I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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