If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
