I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
