How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
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