I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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