I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
