You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
