can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
