The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
